Tomato in the Dishwasher
It's been a week since we applied for the trials and my last posts.
Since then we're been doing everything at once - from extra tests in PHX as we try to qualify for trails, to household organization from closets to bills, insurance planning calls, animal coverage, scheduling relatives for chemo support, BNB contractor changes, work scheduling changes... and you know - I think we've handled it all pretty well so far. And then I find a tomato in the dishwasher this morning.
Upon discovery, I took this picture and sent it to Melisa for review. Without preamble, we just sort of simultaneously agreed "Yeah... that's about right." Its a perfect depiction of our life at the moment. I dunno - I must have been clearing dishes into the washer last night and just grabbed the tomato along with the cups as I mindlessly moved through the task at hand.
We're in the trial, but we didn't get the device. So why stay in it - when it means extra trips on what is supposed to be our week off during the cycles (1 day a week, 3 weeks on, one week off). We'll - it is extra attention and checks. So maybe worth it for the extra team members and checks it brings. We'll see. Melisa made the decision to stick with it - so we're in. She said, "It'll help other people. Someone has to be part of the control group."
We officially start chemo tomorrow - and we're both ready. Ready to act versus plan. Ready to get into the routine whatever it brings - just bring it on. So tomorrow we start with labs, then a meeting with the MDA team, then "infusion", which is the chemo treatment. As part of the trial Melisa will be getting "Gemabrax" which is a combination of two drugs vs. the three that would have been part of the Fulfirinox regiments. This makes us happy, in that it's less toxins. We're hoping for results, and know we can move to Fulfiri as a fall back plan.
Melisa's port sutures and bruises have healed pretty well since last Monday, and we're glad to have had the time for that to occur. It's one of a few good things we got from the delay. In case its unclear, the port is the device they'll use to administer the drugs, take blood at the lab, etc -- and beats getting a poke in the arm over and over throughout this process. It's subdermal, on her chest. I'll do a write up soon.
As we discussed the tomato, we both commented that we're glad we're in this together and wonder at the fortitude of those who tackle this sort of thing alone. Sometimes just knowing someone else has a brain that's dropping the small stuff as it contemplates the big stuff is comforting. We're sharing quiet laughter about the tomato now. And we're smiling, shaking our heads, accepting that we're in it together.
We're also incredibly grateful to those who have donated and supported us thus far. It's been wonderful the number of people who've jumped in with donations, calls, texts, and visits - and lifts our spirits.
I'll end this update with Melisa's words on Facebook tonight. We can now tell you with assurance, that it's one thing to 'believe' people would come to your aid if called and quite another to experience it happening.
As she read this to me with tears in her eyes prior to posting, I told her I thought it was perfect.
"One of my most favorite movies is IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. One of my favorite scenes is when everyone comes at the end to help George. And then my favorite quote...NO MAN IS A FAILURE WHO HAS FRIENDS. I think I have an idea of how George Bailey felt. I am overwhelmed with the amount of support, encouraging messages and love I have received. Really makes me wish I had been a better person, friend, neighbor etc. I definitely feel like I am going into this fight being backed & supported by so many. Thank you to all of you. The support makes me stronger and I know I am up for this fight. Chemo starts tomorrow 💪."